About three years ago, we made a decision that resulted in my husband geo-baching. My husband got assigned to a base on the east coast of Virgina. We kept an eye out for jobs for myself, but I was part of a civilian career program that unfortunately limited my options at the smaller bases. I expanded my search area, and was offered a position in Washington DC – about 3 hours north of my husband’s assignment.

Career wise this was an amazing opportunity for me. I would learn more, grow as a professional, network more, be involved in enterprise-level policies and development, and there was a significant pay increase. However, we would be living apart, and enough of a difference to make daily commuting difficult. Being military, his options were limited, and for his career, it was the right move for him to progress as an enlisted member, but also to make great contacts for retirement. The cons for living apart were numerous – seeing each other only on weekends and holidays, two households to pay for, I would essentially be a single mom during the week responsible for all activities for 2 kids and 3 dogs (soon to be 4), all on top of a demanding new job, and completing Master’s level college courses. Additionally, he would be missing a part of our lives. As we talked through everything and weighed what to do, I wondered if we could even do it. Mostly for financial concerns but also emotionally – could our marriage and family connectedness survive a separation like this? And it would not be short – it would be at the least 3 years – more likely 4.

Then I thought back over the years together and realized – the past three years, we were essentially already doing this with his position as a military training instructor – just with him sleeping in the same bed at night, and the added work of ensuring he got fed, had clean clothes and shopping for him as well. As a MTI, he was never home – sometimes working 10-12 days in a row, with those being 14 – 16 hour days being the norm. I had a demanding job and was completing my first Master’s degree all at the same time – I – we could do this again. In fact, it would be easier, because we would still have weekends together, whereas when he was a MTI, getting weekends was unpredictable.

We had a way forward to balance our lives out, start the transition of my position being the primary income, and come out stronger on the other side. I write this after 3 years of my husband geo-baching – we did succeed, and I am excited to reveal, not only did we make it with minimal emotional and financial damage, but I received a promotion, finished my second Master’s, my husband earned another promotion, and in one week he will be joining us permanently with an assignment in Washington DC – we will even be able to carpool! How would you balance life’s competing demands in a situation like this?