One thing about the military life that is predictable- that right when you think you have a plan together, something will happen to knock you over, and upside down. Unpredictability – the military has that in spades. Planning anything while in the military is like playing the lottery. Most of the time you end up losing, rearranging your schedule, and losing out on refunds because you forgot to get the trip insurance. Sometimes – one in a million shot – you win big, and everything goes exactly as you planned! WOOOOO!!! Lucky millionaire!

Even though I grew up in the military, married a military guy, and know that this is going to happen – it is still incredibly frustrating to get that phone call, “Honey, we got to change our plans.” Especially for me as a planner, who likes to know at least two weeks ahead of time what is going on. I should be used to it, should expect it, and should not be so disappointed – its never easy having to rearrange your life for the hundredth time – this month.

Our lives are not our own- the needs of the military come first. It doesn’t matter that my husband has already given fifteen years of life to crappy assignments, increasing number of trips away from home, several missed birthdays, and a few marriage counselors – the military calls, and he goes.

My kids know this, and have lived it – they don’t whine or complain, “Why does Dad have to leave again?” They know the answer. They respect his service. But that doesn’t make it easier to see the disappointed looks on their faces when Dad’s flight home from a six month deployment got pushed – again. It doesn’t ease their tears at night that they try so hard not to show me. And it doesn’t ease their fears when they see military action going on in other countries. They know better than most kids their age what is going on, and how it affects their dad. While I am incredibly proud of their adaptability, their resilience and their sacrifices, it still breaks my heart that this is their world, and that they have to accept it.

We have ways to handle the stress of separation and unpredictability. We are flexible, but we also have consistent routines. We stick to these routines as much as possible and adapt as needed. Instead of getting picked up at the bus stop – my son walks the 30 minutes home because I have to work late, and Dad is still gone. Instead of going to work early, I go in later to ensure both kids are good to go and on the bus – take a shorter lunch and still be home on time. We adapt our routines to make our lives easier but have routines to ensure we can be adaptable. One fantastic development to allow us more flexibility has been work/ school from home. With all of us having laptops, I can telework easily, and the kids can catch up online when they are sick or have to miss school for appointments. We continue to adapt to our circumstances, and the military has given us the resiliency to adapt and change as needed. What are some ways you are flexible?